Reader question: Hello, General, I have been following you for many years.I am 29 years old, rural families, and Guangzhou institutions work (no preparation). I always want to make more money and I can’t get started. I am old and unmarried. I am afraid that I will be under the pressure of layoffs after changing the company.
His father was alcohol, and he was scolded after being drunk. He offended many people. He was infamous in the town and once made me inferior.Recently, I just broke up. The former entrepreneurial failure liabilities were liabilized by more than 100,000. It was paid back the previous year. Now the deposit is 10w, and the monthly monthly deposit is 18K.
He always said that I was wrong for others. I told me to give gifts to the leaders during the New Year, but I don’t think it is necessary, because there is no background that it can’t be promoted.
But he feels that I always have wrong ideas. I usually say that I do n’t read books, do n’t learn, do n’t make makeup. It ’s ugly and thin. He’ s really beautiful and thin, so he thinks we are not suitable. Many ideas are different.Essence
I have been divided once, but I didn’t want to divide it at that time, and he asked him from time to time to chat from time to time (I first talked about a few at the same time, I have a shadow for almost 4 years), so I thought he was also a scumbag, and I lied to him to say that he said that he saidWhen I was pregnant, I had to get it off (I broke up with money). He turned the money and came to take care of the living. I didn’t want to divide my conscience, and I didn’t want to divide it. From time to time, I asked him and continued to talk about it for another year.
Recently, I want to change my couple’s avatars. He doesn’t want to change. Speaking of false pregnancy, he took out the evidence that he doubted at the beginning, but he thought that the flow of people was hurt. It was not easy to ask too much. I didn’t mention it before.Life.Now he said that trust is gone, and he can’t accept it. I want to recover and feel that I do it too much.
These issues are concentrated together, I do n’t know what to do, I feel that I do anything bad.
General
You review your native family, count your work, personal status, and emotional life. The final conclusion is "feeling that you are bad" and feel that you have a psychological problem.
I didn’t think you were bad. From the content of the question, there was no problem.You have left the town and unhappy families. Now there are jobs to be self -sufficient, and there is also love to talk about. I do n’t know why I inexplicably remembered the description of the "stable and good" (manual dog head).
You don’t have to understand your standing position so uncomfortable. Everything is not as bad as you think. You can indeed live better, but you must start changing from the way you think and solve problems to be better.
When you think about the problem, you always have a "but" -The want to make more money, but you are afraid of layoffs and pressure, and you can’t get started; you find that his boyfriend contacts his former to break up, but he also thinks that he is not a "scum man".The boyfriend broke up and wanted to recover, but felt that he was too much.
In short, there are always some reasons you want to do.
I agree that there are many "but" in your situation, but "but" is ubiquitous. No matter if you make any choices and take any action, there are countless "but" to deal with it.
Those who make choices and actions are not because they do not have "but", but because they weigh and judge the most desired and most suitable decisions.And you regard "but" as an excuse for impossible action.
Slowly change this thinking mode and start action, you can change the cognition of "feeling bad", and you will have a better life.
The reason why you feel bad is also related to your boyfriend’s negative evaluation of you. When your partner always denys you all the time, it is difficult to build confidence, which will strengthen the force of "but".
From this perspective, breaking up is right, otherwise you will feel that you are getting worse and worse in the future, because the other party may continue to give you a negative evaluation.
In addition, he often has a problem with the operation of chatting with his ex -predecessor. Although you said that he was looking for him to chat, but if he did not respond or deletes the black, wouldn’t the other party find him?(Not to say that you must die after breaking up, but the chat of three o’clock is indeed crossing the border)
These two reasons are enough to support your reasonable breakup, but the way you choose to break up is wrong.And is the motivation for fake pregnancy?You are more like verifying whether he is a scumbag, not really going to break up.
He thought you were pregnant and gave you money to take care of you. I can only say that this person is human and moral, and it shows that the degree of scum is not very deep.
After all, in a close relationship, knowing that his girlfriend is pregnant and expressed that it is normal, it is a reasonable basic operation. Who will treat this as the standard for not breaking up?
It is enough to suppress you and often chat with your predecessor as a reason to break up. You do n’t have to play a show of fake pregnancy, let alone the decision to withdraw the breakup because he shows normal actions.
Of course, you do deceive him. If you are deceived, you will feel uncomfortable, and you will feel that trust is absent. For the deceived party, he also has enough reasons for breaking up.
Don’t live it, for you, it is not worth recovering, one loves to suppress, the other is lying, each has its own unacceptable bugs.
As for work, according to your expected risks, the 29 -year -old unmarried and unmarried, even in existing jobs, there is also the possibility of layoffs. This is a systematic risk and has nothing to do with you or not to change jobs.
For a person who has been self -sufficient by a higher education to find the work of public institutions, "if you want to make more money but can’t start", it is equivalent to "want to make more money, but don’t want to work hard."You are not unable to be capable and qualified, and you will not lack channels for improvement and learning. You just don’t know how to make more money that you can obtain. Naturally, there is no way to start.
There are always life in life, but there are always "but but", don’t say NO because "but", try to change from "yes, and …".”””Emotion”
General Guo Guo, Master of Psychology of Beijing Normal University, National Second -level Psychological Counselor, Han Han [One] Popular Author, authored the book "For yourself, you are a stranger", "The world prefer self -enrichment".
